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NO. 668
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HELLO THERE, DIAL B READERS!

I'm Hoppy The Marvel Bunny, and I'm your host for today's issue, which features funny comments, dirty words and extremely naughty drawings hidden in EIGHT different comic books.

We're not kidding around here! Despite the fact that these things originally appeared in comic books, they're definitely NOT for kids. So if you're under age, reader, please leave this web page immediately! Just kidding. I know you won't.

So STAY, and join me in exposing some XXX-Rated Comic Book Easter Eggs!

We'll get things started with a few fun examples that are suitable for the whole family, then we'll move on to the really dirty stuff, and close with the dirtiest image ever seen in a comic book!
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CONAN'S CRAZY COINS
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XCONAN artist Barry Windsor Smith was famous for his attention to detail. As you can see on this book's cover (ABOVE), if Conan was standing in a pile of coins, Smith drew every single coin.

During "The Keepers of the Crypt," Conan enters a room full of loose gold coins, piled high, strewn all over the place (panel pictured on the right).

Characteristically, Barry Smith inked what must have seemed like a million coins... but in the upper left corner of the panel pictured right, Smith added a humorous comment questioning his own sanity!

Pictured below is an enlargement of the upper right corner of this panel. Next to it is the same scene but without coloring, highlighting the secret message Smith hid among the coins. It says...

"I must be mad to sit here drawing all these coins!"
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EXCALIBUR POTTY JOKE
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Do you like potty humor? Writer/artist Alan Davis snuck a classic potty sound effect into Excalibur #43. When an alien gets an upset stomach, it rushes for the bathroom. The door slams with a big red SLAM, and the next effect (panel three below, effect colored in blue and yellow) is: BA-THROOM!
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Not to be outdone, the effect was spelled out as a single word in an epic Thor vs. Hulk battle, part of the Avengers vs. Defenders war...
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PROF. X IS A WHAT?!?!
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OK reader, now we're going to get naughty! The story in UNCANNY XMEN #168 was titled "PROFESSOR X IS A JERK!" Pictured below, the issue's memorable splash page by Paul Smith and Bob Wiacek. But this wasn't the story's original title!

Writer Chris Claremont originally called this story "PROFESSOR X IS A PUTZ!" But this was vetoed on the grounds that "PUTZ" is a Yiddish word for "PENIS," and Marvel didn't want to call one of their characters a "PENIS" so prominently -- even if it was in Yiddish! So the word was changed to the more generic put-down "JERK!" Oy vey!
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RICHIE RICH, PORN STAR?
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OK, send the kids to bed now, because this one is really hard core! Believe it or not, it comes to us from that poor little rich boy, Richie Rich! The one-page gag below hides one of the dirtiest slang words ever printed in a comic book. See if you can spot it...
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XGroovy baby! I'm really digging that sound! I love the lyrics, "Do you remember the yen-yet?" Man, they just don't WRITE stuff like that anymore! What an awesome BAND!

Hey Richie Rich, what's the NAME of that band?

Oh, it's written on the drum, you say? The drum was designed by artist Ernie Colon?

Oh, OK, I can see it in the close-up on the right.

Yikes! Someone call someone! The band's name is... JIZM!

NEW SEX MEN
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This issue should win some sort of prize for sheer VOLUME of hidden words! Artist Ethan van Scriver managed to hide the word "SEX" in almost every single page of this comic. In fact, there's so many hidden "SEXES" in this issue that it's referred to as NEW SEX MEN #118!

Pictured below are some of the most prominent examples. See if YOU can find the hidden word SEX in each one! If you can't, place your cursor over the panel to reveal the hidden SEX!
SEX
Place your cursor over the panel to reveal the hidden SEX!
SEX
Place your cursor over the panel to reveal the hidden SEX!
SEX
Place your cursor over the panel to reveal the hidden SEX!
SEX

KA-ZAR DROPS AN F-BOMB!
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Wow, they just get worse and worse, don't they? But this next one is about as bad as it can get! See that cover ABOVE, by Marie Severin and John Verpoorten? It looks innocent enough, but some people think it contains a hidden curse word. They say it's in the bushes behind, Ka-Zar's pet sabretooth tiger, Zabu, on the left hand side, in the middle of the page. Here's a close-up...
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BELOW: The original art, highlighted to help you see the curse word better.
Holy F-Bomb!
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THE CRYPT'S COITUS CURTAIN
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And now... the DIRTIEST image ever hidden in a comic book! What could be worse then literally spelling out the F word? Well, how about a drawing of two people in the act of performing the F word! TRUE FACT! That image is hidden somewhere in the panel below...
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Hard to find, isn't it? But see below, the original artwork, showing the intricate pattern in the curtains. It may look like random squiggles, but there's something highly NAUGHTY hidden in those squiggles! Do you see it?
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Take a closer look at the right-hand side, middle section, and you'll see a doodle of two naked people engaged in the F word! And below that, there's a mini-orgy going on! Yikes! GASP!! Someone call the comics code! NOTHING could be worse than THIS, right?!?! Well.. there may be ONE thing...
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TUBBY'S EXERCISE BIKE!
No explanation required!
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