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ISSUE NO. 653
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Hello reader, and welcome back to DEADMAN GOES TO THE MOVIES. I am your host, Boston DEADMAN Brand. Today, I'm going to be discussing the immortal James Bond 007 classsic, GOLDFINGER (1964). As I'm sure you recall, in the beginning of this spy flick, James sleeps with the beautiful "Jill Masters."

BELOW: Filming the scene...
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The next morning, James leaves the hotel room. When he returns, he sees something that caused an international sensation! As we all know, Mr. Bond saw the original "golden girl" -- but this one was no Bea Arthur -- she was very young, very beautiful, and very DEAD! Click the PLAY button below to see it in a 15-second film clip...
Here's a few still frames of the famous dead golden girl, played by Shirley Eaton...
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For decades there's been a rumor that Eaton, who played Bond girl Jill Masterson, died from asphyxiation after her body was covered with gold paint, because the body "breathes" through the skin. Well, she does look pretty dead here...
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...and also here! Although she does seem to have a bit of a smile.
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Of course, Eaton's golden body paint was applied by professional make-up men, and they got to see a lot more than we did on screen! Golden pasties!
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So, did Shirley Eaton die of golden asphyxiation? Hey James -- wake her up!
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Hey look! Bond touched her and -- she seems to be MOVING!
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WOW, look at that! She IS alive! She's ALIVE! She's ALIVE!
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Alive enough to pose for the cover of LIFE magazine!
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So remember kids -- as long as a person is able to breath through their nose or mouth, they can't die from asphyxiation. By the way, Shirley Eaton is still alive today. She's 77 years old.
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The myth of the "Dead Golden Girl" reminds me that you can never trust these Hollywood movie types with your safety. Especially the prop companies. You have to watch them every minute! One company especially. I had this company manufacture some gigantic ghost-demon props for one of my strange adventures...
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... but it turned out they were flimsy crap, constructed almost entirely of cardboard! HA-HA-HA! What I fool I was to use them! What a fool ... HA-HA-HA!
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Oh well, it just goes to show you that you can't trust these fly-by night movie prop companies -- especially ones run by former comic book artist/publishers like those bums Carmine Infantino and Dick Giordano!
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AAARRRG'BYE!
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