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"FUNNIEST FAN LETTERS TO BATMAN"

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Dear Batman,
I am Peter. I am 6. Please send me a Batman suit to wear to church.
Love, Peter, Atlanta, GA

Dear Batman,
Your television program is keen. The greatest thing is the theme song. Could you please tell me which opera your theme song is from.
Yours truly, Barbara L., Long Beach. Calif.

Dear Batman,
How do you keep your Aunt Harriet from finding out you're really Bruce Wayne? I have an Aunt who lives with us too, and I can't fool her. She knows everything that's going on. I can't do anything without her knowing about it. Please tell me your secret, as I did something last night I don't want Auntie to find out about.
A fan, Susan, Racine, Wisconsin

Dear Batman,
I am an amateur fortune teller and I have just looked into your future. I have consulted my crystal ball and I must tell you to beware of the month of December. Also January, March, April, June, August, October and November. All the other months look okay so far. I will consult my crystal ball again tonight.
Sincerely, Harry L., NYC

Dear Batman,
Please send me all the necessary instructions for building a Batmobile in my spare time.
Your friend, Jeff L., New York City
P.S. Please also send me all the parts and gas.

Dear Batman,
I hate crime just like you and fight it whenever I can. In my school I'm the monitor and if I see somebody jaywalk on the street I holler at them, "Go back! Go back!" Maybe you can tell me other ways I can continue my fight against crime.
Your pal, Roger V., Wilmington, Delaware

Dear Batman,
Since you came on television I've been a big fan of yours. Could you please answer one question though? How do you and Robin get on your uniforms so fast after sliding down the batpoles? On the way down you're both in regular clothes and a second later you're fully costumed. This is some trick. Can you tell me how you do it? It takes me an hour just getting my pajamas on.
Martin S., Lexington, Kentucky

Hey Batman,
Why do you need Robin? Take me instead! You'll like me. Enclosed is my picture. If you want, I can be there a week from Tuesday. If not, please send back the picture. I want to send it to Superman.
Mike G., Dubuque, Iowa

Dearest Batman,
I love you, love you, love you. You're so big and strong and handsome. I never saw such a beautiful looking he-man. Honestly, when you flex those muscles I could die. So can you blame me for falling in love with you? And , Batman, it's really love. It's not just a physical attraction I feel.
Marcia L., Bayside, Long Island

Dear Batman,
I need the Bat Code. I wrote you a letter in Bat Code but I can't figure out what I wrote.
Love, Dick W., Goshen, Indiana

Dear Batman,
I think Robin is a living doll. Tell me--what is he really like? What does he want to be when he grows up? What does he always look for in a girl? What is it like on a date with him? I would write Robin myself but I don't want him to think that I'm nosy.

Dear Batman,
I want to be just like Robin. I imitate him all the time. I say "Holy Succotash" and "Golly Gee" and lots of things like that. They call me Boy Wonder of my school. Do you think I should change my name to Dick Grayson? If you do, maybe I can get my father to change his to Bruce Wayne.
Your pal, Frank C., New Canaan, Connecticut

Dear Batman,
Why did you have to capture the Joker and put him behind bars? It was a breath of real fresh air to have at least one criminal around with a sense of humor. Most crooks are no fun at all!
Respectfully, Sgt. Lewis Brooks, San Francisco Police Dept.

Dear Batman,
How come you don't smoke, drink, or go out with women? You sure are setting a rotten example for Robin.
Sincerely, Ralph W., Anderson, Indiana

Dear Batman,
I would like to have the private number of your Batphone so I can call you if I have any trouble. I have three big brothers and I always have lots of troubles.
Your friend, Alex M., Age 8, Houston, Texas

Dear Batman,
Since you came on television I'm in love with you, I don't think I'll ever love anybody else again. If I could just meet you in person, it would last me a whole lifetime. And I'd never ask for anything else. I promise. Just tell me where and when and I'll be there. I know you're busy, Batman, so if you can't make it, could you please send Robin?
Jane M., Roslyn, Long Island

Dear Batman,
Excuse me for saying so but I have seen you on television and I think you are getting a slight pot belly. You better watch out or you may lose all you fans. People with pot bellys aren't very popular.
 Sincerely, Jeffrey H., Reading, Pennsylvania

Dear Batman,
If you get into any real trouble why don't you call James Bond. I don't have his phone number, but you could look it up in the yellow pages under detectives.
Yours truly, Alfred W., Boston, Massachusetts

Dear Batman,
How did you get the name Batman? Were you baptized with the name batman? I would like to change my name to Batman but my mother isn't too keen about the idea. She likes my name.
My name is Herman.
Your fan, Herman Z., Anderson, Indiana

Dear Batman,
Here are the names of the big crooks in the Bronx. Get them! (1) Jerry Feldman, (2) Mike Harris, (3) Stanley Wolf, (4) David Paris, and (5) Paul Hyman. They are all in my class.
Your friend, Howard W., Bronx, NY

Dear Batman,
I would like to join you and Robin. I could go with you and help you catch crooks. I could be with you all the time, but I have to be home at 5:00 for my bath.
Love, Joyce W., Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Dear Batman,
When I watch your program on television and you fight the bad men like the Joker or Mr. Freeze I shout and cheer for you. I yell "Go get him batman," then I bang on my TV screen. Last night I almost broke the screen. My mother got pretty mad, but she doesn't understand because she only likes Lawrence Welk.
Forever a Batman fan, Jeffrey W., Dallas, Texas

Dear Batman,
I have been reading a Batman comic book. It’s called “Death Knock Three Times.” It is about a man dressed as a skeleton. The fist page is about Batman is fight the skeleton and Robin is falling into a grave. And there are people talking together. Then the skeleton robs the people, then a lady
faint, then Batman and Robin go into a room and they dress as Batman and Robin. Then they started fighting, then Batman gets shot, then they go back home. Don't you think I have a good memory?
Your fan, Hilton G., Drexel Hill, Pennsylvania

Dear Batman,
Last night I dreamed that Batman was on television five nights a week. I told my mother about my dream and she said that it wasn't a dream -- it was a nightmare.
Your fan, Robert H., Baldwin, L.I.

Dear Batman,
I am a real tried and true Batman fan. As a real friend and true Batman fan I would give anything to have a lock of your hair for my scrapbook. Also, I would like a lock of Robin's hair and Alfred, your butler. Please tell me which lock of hair goes with which person because it is hard to tell when the hair isn't on the persons head.
Your fan, Max J., Dallas, Texas

Dear Batman,
You sure look keen in your mask and cape. Now if you only had a Beatle haircut you would be the most beautiful man in the whole wide world.
Love, Sherry P., Baltimore, Maryland

Dear Batman,
You are my second favorite hero in the whole world. My first favorite is Mary Poppins.
Love, Cora W., Houston, TX

Dear Batman,
The comic I liked best is where they tried to turn you into the Human Punching Bag. The reason I liked it best is because that is what my brother is always trying to do to me.
A fan, Jay B., New York City

Dear Batman,
Please send me a Batman button. The only button I have says vote for Goldwater.
Your fan, Jeffrey J.

Dear Batman,
My name is Betsy Erlich. I am 7 and I have been a Batman fan ever since I was a kid.
Love, Betsy, Dayton, OH

Dear Batman,
Please write me the story of your life from the beginning. Tell me everything, but leave out the dull parts.
Your truly, Zeke J., Racine, Wisconsin

Dear Batman,
 I never miss your show on television. What I like best about your TV show is the commercials.
 Best wishes, Mark S., Freeport, L.I.

Dear Batman,
I named my new parakeet Batman. Now I am the only one on my block with a Bat-bird.
Your fan, Stanley J., Bronx, NY

Dear Batman,
How are you? I am fine. How is Robin? I hope he is fine. Write me a nice letter and tell me how you both are. I am 8 and I worry a lot.
Alvin H., Topeka, Kansas


BAT-LINKS!
AL BIGLEY ROBIN BATMAN 1966 AL BIGLEY

 


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